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The Unspoken Rules Assessment

A short diagnostic to help you put language to what you’re experiencing.

This assessment helps you name the unspoken rules you live by and the cost of continuing to be "the nice one."

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Choose one answer for each question. Based on what feels most familiar to you. 

Question 1​

When someone asks for help, my first reaction is usually: Required

Question 2​

I feel most resentful when: Required

Question 3​

I tend to say yes when: Required

Question 4

The feeling that usually shows up before exhaustion is: Required

Question 5​

When I imagine not doing as much for others, I feel: Required

SCORING GUIDE: Each question is 1 point.

 

HOW TO SCORE: Count how many A, B, C, and D responses you selected. The highest total = Your dominant pattern. If there is a tie, you can choose between the following:

 

  • Use question 5 as the tiebreaker, because it reveals identity (not just behavior) or

  • Choose the result pattern that feels most accurate when read.​

Before you see your result, take a moment to notice how your body feels. Acknowledge any feelings or thoughts you may have. All of that is simply information.​

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